How to stay consistent in worship
You do a lot for three days, then stop. Then you feel like a failure and wait for the next burst.
Something gets you going. A talk, a bad week, Ramadan finishing. You start praying tahajjud, you plan to read a juz a day, you make three new intentions.
It lasts about three days. Then it stops, you do nothing for six weeks, and you feel worse than before you started.
Then something gets you going again, and you do the same thing.
What deed did Nabi ﷺ love most?
Aisha was asked which deed Nabi ﷺ loved most. She said: the one done regularly.
And he said it himself. The deeds Allah loves most are the ones done regularly, even if they are small. Then he added: only take on what you can keep up.
Small and regular. That is it. It is the opposite of how most people go about their own religion.
Why do big bursts not work?
Big feels like progress. A whole night of prayer feels like something happened. Two pages of Quran on a Tuesday feels like nothing.
But the two pages, if you had kept them, would have been the whole Quran in under a year. The tahajjud lasted three days.
Nabi ﷺ once came home to find a woman with Aisha who was known for how much she prayed. He did not praise her. He said: do the deeds you can manage. Allah does not get tired of rewarding you, but you will get tired.
Regular and small was what he loved. Not because it is easier, but because it is the only thing that survives a bad month.
Is stopping worse than never starting?
It can be. Nabi ﷺ told one of his companions: do not be like so-and-so, who used to pray at night and then stopped.
He did not name what the man had done wrong. He only named the stopping.
That is why the size matters. A big plan breaks in the first bad week, and once it breaks, most people never restart it. A small one is small enough to do badly and still count.
Was Nabi ﷺ like this himself?
Yes. Aisha was asked whether he picked special days for extra worship. She said no. His deeds were regular and constant. Then she said: and which of you can do what he could do?
Even the most devoted person who ever lived did not work in bursts. He kept things up.
How do I pick one I can keep?
Make it small enough that it feels slightly embarrassing. If it seems too easy to be worth doing, it is probably the right size.
Attach it to something you already do without thinking. Right after Fajr. In the car before you get out.
Then keep it for a month before you add anything, no matter how good you feel in week two. Week two enthusiasm is exactly what breaks these.
What to do
- Pick one thing so small that you cannot fail at it. Two pages, one page, three ayahs.
- Attach it to a habit you already have rather than to a time of day. Times slip. Habits do not.
- If you miss a day, do it the next day and do not punish yourself. Missing twice in a row is the real risk.
- Wait a full month before you add a second thing.
What not to do
- Do not build a plan you could only keep in a good week. Design it for the bad week.
- Do not measure yourself against somebody else's routine. You are not seeing their gaps.
- Do not start again from zero every Ramadan. One small thing kept all year is worth more than one intense month and eleven quiet ones.
One last thing
Out of everything Aisha could have said about the most devoted person who ever lived, she said he kept things up.
Pick your one small thing today. Do it tomorrow after Fajr. Then the day after.
Source: Sahih al-Bukhari 6461; Sahih al-Bukhari 6465; Sahih al-Bukhari 43; Sahih al-Bukhari 1152; Sahih al-Bukhari 6466
SM
The teaching in this post comes from the Quran and the hadith listed above. I only put it in plain words. The tips on what to do and what not to do are my own advice. If you want to talk about anything in this post, write to me at salam@sunnahdaily.com.
For a ruling on your own situation, please speak to a qualified local scholar. You are welcome to email me about it as well, and I will help if I can, or point you to someone who can.