Worry about yourself
Someone reminds you of Allah. You say this back. Nabi ﷺ said Allah hates this reply more than any other.
Do you know the one thing Allah hates to hear? Most of us say it. It has become normal.
Someone reminds you of Allah. Maybe your friend says, “Pray first, then we go.” Maybe your sister says, “Do not watch that.” Maybe a man at work sees the drink in your hand and says, “Fear Allah.”
And you say: “Worry about yourself.”
Nabi ﷺ said this is the speech Allah hates most. Someone says “Fear Allah,” and the other one says “Worry about yourself.” That reply. That exact reply.
Why is it so bad?
Because the person did not make up the rule. Allah did.
So when you say “Worry about yourself,” you are not really talking to your friend. You are talking back to Allah. You are just using your friend’s face to do it.
“But there is a verse that says worry about yourself”
There is. It is in Surah al-Ma’idah. It says, “Look after your own souls.” And some people use this verse as their answer. “See? The Quran says mind your own business.”
This is not new. People did the same thing in the time of Abu Bakr.
So Abu Bakr got up in front of everyone and said, “You are reading this verse wrong.”
Then he told them what he heard from Nabi ﷺ. If people see something wrong and nobody says anything, the punishment does not come for one person. It comes for everyone.
That is the real meaning. Look after yourself, yes. But do not use it as a reason to stop others from looking after you.
What if the person is not perfect?
“Who is he to tell me? He does the same thing.”
Maybe he does. That is between him and Allah. The reminder is still true.
You do not have to like how he said it. You do not have to fix everything that second. Just do not throw it back at him.
Do not react. Think about it. At the end of the day, this is your Creator talking to you.
He made you
Think about your phone. If the person who made it tells you, “Do not drop it in the pool,” you listen. Why? Because he made it. He knows what breaks it.
Allah made you. He knows what breaks you. The Quran asks, “Would He not know, He Who created?”
Every rule that feels hard came from the One who knows you better than you know yourself. It is not there to make your life hard. It is there because it is good for you.
So what do you say instead?
“You are right.”
Or, “Make dua for me.”
Or say nothing. Go home and think about it. Silence is fine. Silence is a hundred times better than the one reply Allah hates.
What to do
- Listen to the reminder, even if you do not like the person.
- Give it a night. Most reminders that sting in the moment make sense the next morning.
- If it was true, change one thing. That is what the reminder was for.
What not to do
- Do not say “Worry about yourself.” Ever. That is the whole post.
- Do not point at what the other person does wrong. That is a different conversation.
- Do not use that verse to shut people up. Abu Bakr already said that is reading it wrong.
One last thing
If you are the one reminding someone, do it the way you would want it done. Quietly. Once. In private. Not in front of everyone.
Source: Silsilah as-Sahihah 2598 (al-Albani; the hadith is in al-Bayhaqi and an-Nasa’i’s Amal al-Yawm wal-Laylah); Sunan Abi Dawud 4338; Jami` at-Tirmidhi 3057; Quran 5:105; Quran 67:14
SM
The teaching in this post comes from the Quran and the hadith listed above. I only put it in plain words. The tips on what to do and what not to do are my own advice. If you want to talk about anything in this post, write to me at salam@sunnahdaily.com.
For a ruling on your own situation, please speak to a qualified local scholar. You are welcome to email me about it as well, and I will help if I can, or point you to someone who can.